


High School Scandal

by puddingcastiel (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual Dean, Bisexual Sam, Daddy Issues, Dean And Sam's POV, Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester in Love, Dean is a Softie, Dean is a Sweetheart, Depression, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Double Penetration, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, High School, Homophobia, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Secret Relationship, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Sigh Filled story, Smut, Underage Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Virgin Reader, Wincest - Freeform, abusive home life, dean and sam are hunters and teachers, first person POV, slight-AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 22,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/puddingcastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grief is all I've known until we got two new teachers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mr. Dean Winchester

It was gloomy and dark. Maybe I was just being dramatic but it was the worst day ever. It was pouring and the weather made me even more depressed then I already felt. How could this happen? She was such a good friend, she was my best friend. I walked around campus going to classes and hearing unheartly apologies about her. I was tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. 'I'm sorry for your loss', 'She was an amazing person. She'll be missed.' and a bunch of other crap people didn't mean. God, why? She was the only person who understood me. Who's house would I go to if Mark got angry again? How will I survive without her?  
It was fourth period and I sat by the window, lost in my own grief and staring out the window. I was shaken out of it for a second when I heard a door slam, "Good evening class! I am Mr. Dean Winchester and I am going to be your new english teacher this semester! Me and my brother moved here from Kansas to teach here. I'm very excited and hope we can make this year fun!" Boy every girl in class was drowling over this 6 foot man with lucious green eyes and beautiful blondish brown hair. He took a look around the class and his eyes landed on me . His lips turned up in a chessy little grin and I blushed under his gaze. I don't know if I'd be able to handle english this year. Mr. Winchester spent the class period talking about himself and getting to know the rest of us. He didn't tell us his age but he looked around the age of 35 or so. Mr. Winchester was a rugidly handsome man; he had bright green eyes and boy that deep grutting voice could make any girl wet with the right words. All the girls in class were already trying to flirt with by batting their eyelashes and bitting their lips seductivly but he just didn't seem interested. Everh now and then I'd feel the gaze of someone and I'd look up to see him staring right at me. Was there something on my face? Was it obvious that I had been crying for days? Did he notice the fading bruises covered with makeup? I was caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn't heard him call my name, "Miss Y/L/N, how was your summer?" It was terrible. "It was great!", I tried to say with fake enthusiasm. Then of course she scoffed, Alice, the most popular girl in school who happened to not like me at all. "Why don't you tell him the truth Y'N? He's gonna find out either way." Mr. Winchester looked completetly confused, "Do you care to elaborate Miss Till?" "Well Y/N's best friend was sadly killed this past week. It was very strange actually, her heart was practically ripped out of her chest." I could hear her sarcasm. She didn't care about Liz, she just wanted to look nice. Mr. Winchester's eyes were filled with sorrow as he looked at me, "That's very unfortunate. I'm sorry Miss Y/L/N." Oh god there it was, the apology, but the way he said it actually made me believe him. He did seem sorry. Tears were threatning to fall and I was saved by the bell. I tried to leave as fast as I could but Mr. Winchester had stopped me, "Listen Y/N, I really am sorry about your friend. I've lost a lot of friends in the past, if you ever ever need anything please stop by, okay?" I nodded at him, "Thank you sir." He shiffted uncomfortably when I had called him sir and let me go to my next class. Did he like getting called sir? Did that turn him on?


	2. Supply Closet Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Dean's POV( point of view) and there is smut in this chapter. Also goes back to readers pov

I had to find Sammy now. Where was his class? Damn it, I can't believe I forgot my own brothers class. I was speed walking down the hallway with a rock hard boner I simply needed help with. Sammy gave the best head ever. It was lunch time so I had 20 minutes left to try and find him. I bumped into the hallway and he smirked when he saw the tent in my pants. He looked around to make sure there was no one around in the hallway and lead me into the supply closet. He locked the door behind him and got on his knees,"Dean, baby who did this to you?" My breathing began to pick up as he unbuttoned my pants and began to rub me through my boxers, "Ugh Sammy, you tease. There's this girl in my 4th period english class- Ah Sammy!" He had pulled down my boxers and was licking the precum of my swollen head, "S-she's a junior i-in a um honors class. S-she called me sir. I-i don't know what took over me. S-sammy yes, god baby boy. You suck me off so good." He had begun bobbing his head up and down, hollowing out his cheeks perfectly. He was the only one who managed to fit my whole cock in his mouth without gagging. I laced my fingers in his hair, stroking his head and slightly pulling on his hair. "S-Sammy!" I bit my tounge as I came in his mouth, holding back a loud moan. He swallowed it all up licked me clean before putting my dick back into my boxers and zipping up my jeans like nothing had happened. I caught my breath and continued, "Sammy, I think I like her. I love you to death but god I miss boobs. Sammy I miss sharing someone else with you. The last girl we had left us just because she found out what me and you did with each other when she was gone. Sammy, she's different. I don't think she'd mind. I think we should give it a shot." Sam had a neutral expression on his face. After a couple of suspensful minutes, he let out a deep breath and spoke up, "Fine. We'll give it a try only if you make the first move. Just give it a week or two and make sure okay? After Lisa I don't know if I can manage going through that again. Just I want you to be happy." I smiled softly at him and placed a kiss on his lips, "I really do love you Sammy." He smiled back, "I love you too De. Now whats this mystery girls name?" "Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N."

**READER'S POV**

After lunch I walked to my 5th period which was U.S History. Well it was honors history which is usually for seniors but I wanted to get into a good college and doing honors classes would look great. I walked in and found an extremely tall guy with long brown hair scribbling his name and other things onto the chalkboard. He was Dean's little brother! Well 'big' little brother. Sam had hazel eyes and a very calming aura to him. I could tell he kept to himself, Dean was more of an open book. Sam was hard to read; he was mysterious and I was very intrigued by him. I sat in the 3rd row in the middle desk and opened up a book I was reading called 'Go Ask Alice'. "Is it a good book?" I looked up to find Sam leaning against the front of his desk with his eyes focused on me. "Uh yeah it is. Its really sad though." "Whats it about?" I softly sighed and put my book down, "Well its about a teenage girl dealing with drugs in the 60s and yeah its just intense." Sam was smiling, god he had a beautiful smile, "Well when you're done with it mind if I borrow it?" I nodded eagerly, "Of course Mr. Winchester!" He went back to writing on the chalkboard as more kids came in, "What's your name sweetheart?" He had turned back around and looked me in the eyes, "Y/N." His eyes twinkled slightly and his jaw dropped for a second before realizing his expression, "Um- Uhm its an honor to meet you Miss Y/N. I really hope you enjoy me- I mean my class this year!" I couldn't contain the giggle that passed through my lips when he turned his attention back to the board. He was cute when he was flustered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your opinion! Thank you guys! xx :)


	3. Home Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: we find out about the readers home life and there is slight self harm!

The rest of that class period I would catch Sam staring at me and giving me little smiles. He was making me blush so much, god he was adorable. Dean was a handsome guy and Sam was just so adorable! They were so different yet alike at the same time! Both men were so sweet and they both had captivated my interest. It was safe to say I had a massive crush on both them.  
My last class was 12th grade calculus. I know sounds boring and hard but I was pretty decent at math. Also before the Winchesters, Mr. Novak was the man that made everyone drool. He was a great teacher; he was the only teacher I really liked. As soon as the final bell rang, the familiar tightness in my chest begun to form again. I got in my car and sat there gripping onto the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. If Mark was home, I knew I'd be expecting something tonight. I had broken a plate this morning on accident and he said I would have to deal with the consiquences tonight. Mark had been my mothers boyfriend for a year now and he wasn't leaving anytime soon. My mother was scared of him like me so she'd go to work, cook him dinner and drink her problems away. Lately she had been getting worse, she was doing drugs too now. I cleaned the house and if mom was too doped up I'd make breakfast and dinner. I drove home which was about 15 minutes away from the school and there it was. He was home, his car was in the driveway. I could already feel the tears brimming in my eyes and the brusing punches. I opened the door and quickly ran up to my room but there he was, on my bed waiting for me. " I told you you'd be dealing with me later you bitch." He got up and cornered me back against the wall. He slapped me once, "Stupid cunt." He grabbed my hair and pushed me straight to the floor. Sobs were already taking over my senses and he began to kick the life out of me. 'Bitch', 'Whore', 'Ungrareful little brat', it was one after the other. He pulled me back up and to finish off his job he punched me square in the jaw. Before walking out he turned back around and said, "I hope you learned your lesson bitch." I crawled to my bathroom and leaned agaisnt the wall, letting sobs out. I had to find it. I dug through the bottom of my bathroom sink and found it, my new best friend. It twinkled in the light, I hadn't used it in over a week. I brought it to my wrist and let the blood flow out, hoping one would be deep enough to end it all.

**DEAN'S POV**

Sam was already inside the car by the time I left class after school, "How was your day babe?" I grabbed his hand, "Great baby, you?" He smiled at me and I began to drive to our apartment, "Fantastic. Dean, that girl you told me about, you didn't tell me how beautiful she was!" I was beaming with excitement, Sammy liked her! "She's amazing Dean! God i'm so glad we got her in our classes, but about her friend-" I sighed, " I think it was a werewolf, Sammy. Lets give her a couple more days, you can tell she's taking it tough." Sam nodded and spoke up again, "Did you notice her um her-" I cut him off, "The brusies on her face? Yeah I did. Maybe it was a kid, some girl in my class was kinda being a bitch to her. If they get worse I'll talk to her, I hope it isnt serious." Sam let out a sorrow filled sigh, "Yeah me too." I put my hand on his thigh and gave him a comforting squeeze.  
As soon as we got home Sammy headed for his laptop and I heade straight to the fridge. "Uh hey Sammy do steak and veggies sound good for dinner?" Sam eyes were locked onto the laptop, he was already nose deep in research, "Uh yeah sure whatever you want baby." I nodded, pulled out a beer and begun working on dinner.  
At dinner Sam began to tell me what he had found, "So get this, Y/N's friend was found with her heart ripped out and her body torn up, BUT it was in two towns over." I took a long sip from my beer, huh that was interesting, "So you think it is a possible case?" "Yeah", Sam leaned back into his chair and ran his hands through his hair. He got up and placed his plate in the sink, "Okay baby I'm going to shower and sleep. We got a lot of work to do tomorrow." "I couldn't agree less. I'll be there in a minute, let finish cleaning up." I walked over to Sam and placed a kiss on his lips, "Night Sammy, love you." "Love you too Deano."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the support! I'm taking supernatural oneshot requests if anyone is interested! Just you guys are amazing! xx :)


	4. Bruises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader's pov again :)

I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off and the sharp pain in my abdomen. I walked up the mirror and began to cry; is this what I had become? A broken and bruised girl? There was a massive bruise on my jaw and when I lifted my shirt I couldn't even see my regular skin color, all I saw was purple, blue and black. I had to hurry or I was going to be late for school.  
The whole day I didn't look up, I had done such a shitty job on my makeup. People kept looking at me, giving me weird glances, nothing I wasn't used to. The only periods I was excited for were 4th and 5th because of the infamous Winchester brothers. When fourth period came around I made my way to the last row of the class, trying my hardest to avoid Mr. Winchester. Being the clumsy fool I was, I tripped over my feet right in front of his desk. Oh god oh god please don't-" Here it'll help you Y/N- wait are you okay?" The bell rang and he placed my things on his desk with a stern look on his face, "Talk to me after class." This is what I feared most, getting caught, god Mark is going to be so angry at me! During the whole class I tried to calm my breathing and fight back tears, what would he say? What would he do? Am I going to be taken away from my family? Is he going to tell on me? Should I lie to him? I should tell him I was tripped, that would be believable. The bell rang again and I slowly made my way up to his desk. He pulled up his chair and motioned for me to sit, "Do you wanna talk?" I nodded no. "Who did this to you? Was it Ms. Till?" Once again no. He let out a shaky breath, "Was it your dad?" Tears began to stream my face, god eyes why did you have to betray me like that? He got on his knees and brushed the hair out my face, pulling me into his arms, "You need to tell me what's going on or I can't help you." "I-I-I can-n-t." He grabbed my face gently and looked me straight in the eyes, "Yes you can. I want to make this better for you. Where else has he hit you? Oh god has he done anything else? Has he touched you Y/N?" I calmed down my breathing and lifted me shirt. He took in a sharp breath and got up, "I have to tell someone." I began to panic and sob, "NO! Please! He'll hit me again no! Please don't!" I fell to my knees, crying hysterically, "Please god no." He grabbed his arms around me and placed me on his lap, rocking Me back and forth, "I have to, please let me keep you safe."

There was something about Dean; he made me feel safe, I believed him. I calmed my breathing once again and turned towards him. I was straddling his lap and if someone walked in I knew we'd be in trouble but Dean held me there. "When I was 12 my mom got a new boyfriend. I never knew my dad and this guy comes around and he's great! He took care of me and my mom. Mark used to be a cop but he got hurt on the job. He can't really lift his arm anymore so he works in an auto repair shop now. After the accident he would drink a lot. At first it was just him arguing with my mom then one day he beat the crap out of her. She was so beat up Dean, I took her to the hospital and he threatened us. If we left him, he'd kill us. My mom she started taking drugs. It started with the painkillers the doctor gave her and know she's doing cocaine. I go home everyday worried it might be my last. I'm letting you know this Dean because I think its time Mark leaves. If you're willing to help then help me Dean." I finally looked up at Dean and found him shedding a few silent tears. He sniffled and wiped them away, "I'm so sorry baby. God how can someone be such a monster? I'm going to fix this babygirl, I promise. I need you to come with me to the principal and we need to get you checked out by the nurse okay?" I nodded and he pulled me off, "You're safe with me. I can gurantee that okay?" He wrapped his arm around me and we slowly walked to the principal's office; today was the day my life would change and hopefully this time it'd be for better not worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just thank you all! You are all amazing thank you for the support! Please keep leaving comments and your opinions! I'm a shit writer and I would love to get better so please leave comments! You all are amazing if you ever need someone to talk to follow me on tumblr at crazynothingyo! xx :) - Alex


	5. Safe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was told this story is going to fast so I'm going to try and slow things down! Also I wanna try and make chapters longer. I've mixed some old chapters with new ones so I'm sorry if comments you've left are gone please add more!!  
> Also the readers schedule is:  
> Biology  
> Art  
> Study Hall  
> English  
> Lunch  
> History  
> Math

**DEAN'S POV**

I couldn't believe someone would do this to a innocent young girl. I mean it could be way worse yet what man believes he has the right to beat a girl. Beating a girl is practically taking away all her confidence and making her feel weak. I'm an idiot maybe I shouldn't have called her those names, I had to get ahold of myself. She was only 17, I couldn't do this to her. There was just something about this girl I couldn't help myself around her. There was this need to protect since I saw her yesterday, there was an urge to wrap my arms around her when I saw her cry. Right now I had to be a responsible adult and do the right thing, I had to report this to the principal.  I walked her to the office, trying to soothe her but it wasn't working. I could see the fear in her eyes. What would they do with her? Would they send her away? I walked into Mr. Finn's office and placed her into the chair, "Mr. Finn we have a serious problem." Mr. Finn looked right at her and sucked in a sharp breath, "Oh dear, um okay let me call the nurse to check on her." I nodded as he called her in and grabbed Y/N's hand to find it shaking out of control. The nurse came in to check on her and she looked up at me with red, puffy eyes, " Okay Y/N the nurse is going to check up on you as soon I'm done with Mr. Finn I'll checkup on you, 'Kay sweetie?" She looked at me for a while unsure on whether to believe me or not before nodding and walking over to the nurse. I looked back at Mr. Finn and he spoke up, " Who did that to her?" I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands, "Her mothers boyfriend, his name is Mark. Sounds like he's been doing it for years and the mother isn't very stable from what she told me." He leaned onto his elbows and looked at me, "What do you not unstable?" I sighed, "Drugs, she's on drugs not doctors but actual drugs like cocaine." It was Mr. Finn's turn to sigh," Thank you for telling me Dean. I'm going to call CPS and inform them. She seems to trust you so stay with her for a while please see if anything else has been going on that we should be aware of. The girls already gone through a lot." I nodded and headed to the door," One more thing Mr. Winchester, calling her little let names is highly inappropriate. I understand when our females teacher do it but with males I simply cannot allow it I'm afraid. Its not that I don't trust you just it doesn't sound right." Once again I nodded and headed for the nurses office. Boy if only knew the thoughts I've had about her.

 

**READER'S POV**

There was no major injury to be worried about, I was laying down when Dean came in. The nurse pulled him out for a second to talk about me, god she had seen them. She had found the cuts on my arm and I knew she was telling him. Dean had a expression that I simply couldn't make up; it was anger and sadness and pity. I hated pity. The nurse walked into Mr. Finn's office and Dean walked into the nurses. He didn't as anything as he strode and sat next to me; it was silent and uncomfortable for a couple minutes. "How long?" I needed to play dumb maybe he was talking about something else," How long what?" "Don't play dumb kiddo, how long have you been hurting yourself?" God dammit here come the tears again," I don't even remember anymore. Lets just say a while, I never was the coolest kid." He sighed as the end of lunch bell rang, "I've got to get back to class kid. Mr. Finn has called CPS and they should be here soon. I'll try to come check up on you." With that he left and god I wanted to crawl into a ball and cry. Why did him sounding disappointed in me make me more sad?

 

**DEAN'S POV**

I messaged Sammy explaining the situation and began my class. I couldn't concentrate, seeing her empty seat broke my heart. If she were to have killed herself this is what class would feel like, the saddest thing was none of her classmates even noticed her disappearance. The rest of the school day was a blur. I messaged Sammy to meet me at the nurses office so we could say goodbye to Y/N and check up on her. Instead of being in the nurses office she was sitting outside the principals office and was once again crying. Sammy was sitting beside her, rubbing her back and in all honesty my heart fluttered. The man I loved was comforting the girl I knew I was beginning to grow soft for. Sam looked up at me and gave me a sad smile, "How ya doing kid?" She just shrugged her shoulders and sniffled again. That's when I heard it, there was yelling coming from inside the office and boy was it loud. Y/N wiped her face with her sweater and pulled a book out of her bag. She gave it to Sam and said, " I finished in the nurses office." Sam smiled at her and thanked her. He looked back at me and gave me those puppy eyes; he felt sad for her. The door flew open and a man who I assumed was Mark was in handcuffs. Y/N tensed up as Mark looked at her, "YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH! I'M GONNA FIND AND WHEN I DO I'M GONNA KILL YOU." I could hear Y/N sobbing her eyes out and Sammy saying to her, "It's okay. Dont worry he's gone. You're safe now." I turned around to find Y/N sobbing into Sam's chest and clinging onto him. A lady in a suit walked out and kneeled in front of Y/N, "Miss Y/L/N, I'm Mrs. Carroll and I'm going to be your caseworker. I'm gonna take you home to get your things and you're gonna come back with me to my office to find you a home to stay in." "She can stay with us", I spat before I could stop myself. The lady turned around and looked at me, "And you would be?" "I uhmm um I'm her teacher, Mr. Winchester." She stood up and crossed her arms, "I appreciate the help Mr. Winchester but I'd be breaking a lot of rules by letting her stay with you and it'd be highly inappropriate." She turned back towards Y/N, grabbed her hand and started leading her towards the door. Y/N looked back at me and god she looked so afraid, then the door slammed. What if that was the last time I saw her?


	6. My Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler chapter sorry its lame

**READER'S POV**

I couldn't stop the tears stream down my face as we drove away from the school. Leaving Dean and Sam wasn't the only thing making me sad; it was the fact that I might be leaving the only place I know. "Aren't you happy?", Mrs. Carroll finally spoke up. I sniffled and looked up at her, "Of course I'm happy. You got rid of a monster just I don't wanna leave this town. This is the only place I've known." Mrs. Carroll sighed, "You don't have any other family its going to be difficult. Also you're almost 18 which makes it harder for you to get adopted, not many people are interested in a 17 year old." She was right, "What if I got emancipated?" She thought long and hard for a minute, "That would actually be a smart idea and it'd save me a lot of hassle. I really didn't want to put you in a home." I actually smiled, maybe I wouldn't have to leave. "You'll have to stay in a youth shelter tonight though if you don't mind. Tomorrow we'll go to court and see if its possible. It would be best for you since you don't have a stable home. I could help you find an apartment, I know a place." "That would be nice, thank you for everything."

We pulled into my driveway and I was greeted at the door by my hysterical mother. Mrs. Carroll pulled her away from me and tried to explain the situation but my mother couldn't accept it. "You can't take my little girl away! I won't let you!" I ran upstairs and quickly packed my things by throwing  whatever I thought was important in random bags. I couldn't take everything but maybe if mom got better she'd let me come back to get the rest of my stuff. When I came back downstairs I found my mother crying on the floor. It didn't hurt me to see her like this, she had abandoned me when she started taking drugs. Mrs. Carroll opens the door and in one last attempt to get me to stay my mother yelled," Be like your father and just leave me to die! Leave me all alone! You're a no good daughter!" I flinched at her words, I really was a no good daughter.

**DEAN'S POV**

The ride home was uncomfortable and silent. There were no words exchanged, nothing absolutely nothing. When we got home the first thing I went for was the whiskey. Sam sighed and went to his laptop. If we were going to solve this case we'd someone else to question; we didn't know if Y/N was coming back. That's when my phone rang, "Hello?" "Uhhh uhmmm hi Mr. Winchester, its me Y/N. I know this is weird and I've known you for like two days but I was wondering if you could come to my hearing tomorrow and make a statement so I could get emancipated. If you can't its fine, I've called Mr. Novak as well just you came to mind as well." I stumbled over my words, "UH no I mean yes its no problem! I'll make a statement!" "Okay thanks Mr. Winchester! I'll see you tomorrow than bye!" With that she hung up and I put away the whiskey, "What's got you smiling so much?" Sam was looking up at me with a smirk, "She isn't leaving Sam! We can ask her questions tomorrow after the court hearing!" Sam looked at me in confusion," Oh sorry she's getting emancipated tomorrow and would like me to make a statement." Sam ohed and closed his laptop, "How about we cuddle and watch a movie we've had such a stressful day." I nodded knowingly and smiled, "Can we watch Caddyshack?" Sam chuckled, "Anything you want babe." I fist bumped the air and popped the movie in. Sam opened his arms and I rested my head on his chest, now this was safe place, this was my home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the support! Please keep leaving comments! They're helping me improve with my writing! xx :)


	7. Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A real emancipation takes about four to six months but its a story so I wanted it to be just happen to keep the story flowing so sorry for the inaccuracy!

**READER'S POV**

Today was the big day and I was terrified. What if I was denied? Then where would I go? No one would want to adopt me. I put on my nicest shirt and slacks; I tried my best to make myself look like I was ready to be an adult. Mrs. Carroll drove me the court and the first person I saw was Dean. He was wearing a suit and damn he looked good! I smiled at him and he waved to me. He was standing next to Mr. Novak who was wearing his usual outfit: his trench coat, suit but this time he had a blue tie on. "I can't thank you enough for coming!" I beamed at the two men, "You have no idea how much this means to me!" Mrs. Carroll then motioned me that it was time to go in. I took in a deep breath and Dean gave me a pat on the back, "It'll be okay kid. You got this."

"Miss Y/L/N, I understand you'd like to be emancipated and it is in your best interest giving your unfortunate situation. If I am correct you already have a car and a job?" "Yes ma'am." The judge then called on Mr. Novak to make his statement and god he looked more nervous then me," Uh okay hum well I've had Y/N as my student for two years now and I cannot even explain how ashamed I was of myself that I didn't see the signs ahead of time. She's been an excellent student, always doing her work and never getting distracted in class. I do believe she's ready to be an adult on her own; she's a very strong and independent young lady. I believe she deserves this." Mr. Novak looked at me and smiled; he was such a good man. The judge then called up Mr. Winchester, "Mr. Winchester if I'm correct you're the one who found about this situation?" Dean nodded, "Yeah I was." The judge nodded and motioned for him to make his statement. "I'm not going to lie with you but I've only known Miss Y/L/N for a couple of days, but anyone can see she's a very strong young girl. Me and my brother were taken aback by her knowledge  and both of us believe she can live on her own." Dean walked off; sweet and simple, I liked it.

Within an hour, the judge had made up her mind and I was now a legal adult. The judge only had one request, I was to go to a therapist at least twice a week until I was slightly better.Mr. Novak had congratulated me and took off saying he had to go somewhere. Mrs. Carroll and I were going to meet up at an apartment building in two hours. Dean had called Sam and they both wanted to take me out to lunch. We went to a little café and I ordered a burger.  "If you don't mind me and Sam wanted to ask you some questions about Liz."

 

**DEAN'S POV**

"Um okay yeah I guess." This was going to be weird, "Did you see any bite marks on her body when you went to see her?" She looked at me weird," Um no why?" "We believe something attacked her." Y/N scoffed, "Well yeah that's obvious I don't think a human would be able to rip a heart of someone's chest like that." Sam sighed and looked at me, he was going to tell her the truth, "We need to tell you something but you can't tell anyone." Y/N looked confused but just nodded. "Me and Dean we aren't only teachers, we're also hunters." "Why would hunting animals be such a bad secret? A lot of people do it Sam!", Y/N laughed. "We don't animals. What if I told you every scary movie creature existed? That ghosts, demons, werewolves, vampires, everything that they were real?" "I'd say your crazy." I cut in, "Well guess what we're fucking insane! Me and Sammy have been hunting all those things since we were kids. Our father raised us as hunters after our mom passed away and we believe Liz was killed by a werewolf." Y/N looked like a ghost, the color of skin had turned into a ghostly white, "I know this is a lot to take in but trust me its true." "I need a minute." With that she ran to the bathroom.

**READER'S POV**

As soon as I got to the bathroom, I threw up whatever was in my stomach. Holy shit these guys were insane! They honestly believe shit like that is real? Maybe it was, I don't know. I rinsed my mouth out with water from the faucet and decided what the hell? I went back to the booth and both of them looked at me with worried eyes, "Tell me everything."


	8. Red-Handed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut at the end of the of the chapter.  
> I had to rewrite this whole chapter I'm kinda pissed so sorry if it sucks.

**READER'S POV**

_Werewolves were killed_ _with silver bullets. Vampires had to have their head cut off and bodies burned. Ghosts had their bones salted and burned. Angels and demons were real._

I was speechless, these guys were serious. The supernatural world was real and they fought these forces of evil without any recognition. These guys were heroes and I wanted to help, "So where do we start?" "Hold up **we?** I don't think so sweetheart. This isn't the life you want. Me and Sam were raised into his, we didn't chose it. Its way to dangerous. We've brought people into this life and they didn't make it. Trust me when I say  stay out of it." I could feel tears brim my eyes," You're telling me that a werewolf killed my only friend and want me to stay out of it? I don't think so." Dean scoffed, "Oh so what you become a legal adult an hour ago and all of a sudden you know everything? This road to revenge is a sad and lonely one. We'll take of it Y/N." "At least let me help you with research. If I can't hunt let me do that. I need to feel like I did something, she did so much for me. Please Dean let me do this." Dean and Sam exchanged a look, "Fine. Research that's it." I smiled at both, "Thank you! You won't regret this Dean!"  

I looked at my phone and saw two missed calls from Mrs. Carroll, "Crap guys I have to go. Thank you so much for lunch!" I got up to hug them both and Sam stopped me," We start tonight. Be at our place at 7?" I nodded and made my way to my car, waving goodbye to both men who were slowly changing my life.

The building was okay, not to shabby. The apartment was on the third floor which only had one other resident on the floor. The room was perfect, it had a small kitchen, living room, bedroom and a bathroom; it was a perfect starter. Mrs. Carroll was kind enough to pay the first 3 months until I was settled. The building was 20 minutes away from school and if I wanted to I could walk to my job.  I signed for the room and Mrs. Carroll wished me luck. Within an hour I had most my things unpacked and it began to feel like home. Tomorrow me and Mrs. Carroll would go to get the rest of things like my furniture when my mother wasn't home. I walked back downstairs to retrieve my last couple of bags when I ran into a hard chest,"OH! I am so so-Dean?" Dean was looking down at me and smiling, I smiled back, "Are you following me Mr. Winchester?" He chuckled," Are you following me?" I laughed this time," I live here now. Third floor, room 16." Deans mouth dropped, "Well roomie, me and Sammy are room 10! Do you need any help?" "I'm good for now thanks but I could use some help tomorrow I'm gonna get my furniture, would you mind helping tomorrow?" "I don't mind at all! Well I'll see you later kid, still on for 7?" I nodded and hugged him goodbye.

**DEAN'S POV**

I quickly made my way to our room and found Sammy cleaning the kitchen. "GUESS WHAT?" Sammy looked at me with amusement" What?" "We got a hot new neighbor and her name is Y/N." Sam laughed, "Huh maybe its destiny!" I rolled my eyes at him and he continued, "Guess that means we gotta be quiet now." I smirked at him and made my towards him. I grabbed the rag out of his hand and placed my hands on his hips. I nipped at his neck," Hmmm maybe I should get you a gag for those pretty little lips. But in all honesty I want her to hear us, I want her to hear you beg for me." I could feel Sam's bulge and I unzipped his pants to rub him through his boxers. His breathing was getting faster, "Does that turn you on baby boy? The thought of me fucking you hard and knowing there's an innocent 17 year old girl a couple of doors away?" I got on my knees and pulled Sammy's cock out of his boxers. There was precum dripping from his tip and I licked it clean. I swirled  my tongue around his head and slowly began to take him in. I wrapped one hand around the part I couldn't take and the other massaged his balls. He become a moaning, whimpering mess and boy was I proud that I could do this to my baby brother. I hollowed out my cheeks, bobbing up and down and swirling my tongue around trying to make him cum. He grabbed my face and slowly began to thrust into my mouth; he was close. His breathing was getting faster and heavier and with a couple more thrusts and shout of my name, I felt squirts down my throat. I swallowed everything he could give me and gave his tip one last kiss  before putting him back into his boxers. Sam pulled me up and kissed me, eager to taste himself on my lips. He pulled away and wrapped his arms around me," I love you so much Dean." "I love you too Sammy."

**READER'S POV**

At 7:00 I knocked on the Winchester's door. Sam answered and smiled, "Y/N come in!" Their apartment was so cozy and warm, I loved it. Sam seemed to be cooking chicken, potatoes and a salad. He pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit, "Dean's taking a shower, he'll be out in a bit. Would you like something to drink?" "Water please." Sam gave me a glass of water and Dean yelled out, "SAMMY! I NEED A TOWEL!" Sam rolled his eyes and excused himself. I got up from my chair and looked at the pictures they had hanging up; they were some of them as kids with a man I presumed was their dad, some with a bearded man and one with what the ? Mr. Novak? I was studying the picture when I swear I heard a moan and a shush. I called out both their names and got no response in return. I pushed open the door to what I presumed was the bathroom and found something totally unexpected: Sam and Dean were making out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys id love to get to know you! My names Alexia but you can call me Alex! I've been watching Supernatural for about 2 years now! I'm 16, I love bands, I'm bisexual and I struggle with self harm/depression. I'd love to get to know you guys! My tumblr is crazynothingyo! I love you all so much thank you for the support!  
> #AlwaysKeepFighting


	9. Yes

**SAM'S POV**

Ever since Dean's blowjob earlier, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him and seeing him in nothing but a skimpy towel; I couldn't help myself. I had to stop myself, we couldn't do this long. Y/N was in the next room and I worried were going to get caught. I was about to pull away when I heard a gasp. **Fuck.** I turned away from Dean and saw Y/N with her eyes bulging out of her head and her jaw open. She quickly turned away and started walking out of the apartment, "Y/N WAIT! WE CAN EXPLAIN!" I was too late, she had already walked into her apartment. Dean came running out, finally clothed in sweats and a shirt, and he began to knock on her door, "Kid please! Can we talk?"  She talked to us through the door, "Talk about what? I saw what I saw!" Dean was wrong, she wasn't okay with it; she was just like Lisa. I grabbed Dean by the shoulder, "Come on man, just stop. She's just another Lisa." Dean was angry, I could tell he really liked this girl and I fucked it up. I couldn't handle myself. Dean was still banging on the door, begging for her to open it and talk to us. After a couple minutes, Dean was about to give up and the door swung open, "FUCK DEAN FINE!"

We entered the apartment and Y/N sat on her kitchen counter, "Start talking." Dean took in a deep breath and looked at me for reassurance. I gave his shoulder a squeeze and he started talking, "Me and Sam, we only have each other. When we were younger our dad would leave us in a hotel room and go hunt. As I got older I became more interested in things, in girls I guess, sometimes guys. One night when Sammy was 13 and I was 17, I caught him ya know pleasuring himself. Something took over me and our relationship started. It went from just sex and experimentation to actual love. Me and Sammy we love each other. Not only is he my brother but I wanna spend of the rest my life with him. Being a hunter means a lot of one night stands never a serious relationship but me and Sammy we can give each other that. Does that make sense?"

Hearing Dean talk about us like that brought tears to my eyes; I really loved this man and he loved me back. It was wrong on so many levels but we've literally been to hell and back for each other. He stuck by my side when I was soulless and I stuck by him when he was a demon. We never gave up on each other, it just wasn't in our DNA. Me and Dean were on edge just waiting for an answer or question, anything really from Y/N. Her face was expressionless. She hopped off the counter and got a cup of water; I'm guessing she was trying to process this.

**READER'S POV**

I took in a deep breath , crossed my arms and leaned against the counter, "That's really lovely if you really think about it. I get it, this life its hard to find love so you just decided to love each other. God its beautiful really. I would kill to have a love like yours. You both are really lucky." I heard them both let out a deep breath they seemed to be holding in and broke out into big old grins. Dean made his way to me and hopped on the counter next to me. "Who's Lisa?" Dean and Sam both flinched at the name; Sam leaned on the counter in front of us and ran a hand through his hair, "Lisa was a girl Dean was in a relationship with. We wanted to try out a polyamorous relationship with her but when she caught us, she freaked out." Dean picked up," She had a total bitch fit. She just called us these awful names and it broke us. We had stopped loving each other, truly believing we were disgusting human beings. Then something happened, we went back to each other." Dean hopped off the counter and grabbed me by the waist, "Whoa Dean! What are you doing?!" "Y/N, I know this is terrible and illegal but I- I really like you. Sammy does too and he was willing to try it again with you. From the moment I saw you walk in, I was pulled in by you. Seeing you cry oh god, it broke me a little. We wanna keep you safe and show you the love you deserve. I know we just met and its illegal but if we keep it secret and play it safe, would you give us a chance?"

I was speechless, I couldn't believe it, "I have no experience at all with boys let alone men. I don't think I'm qualified?" Sam and Dean broke into laughter, "Qualified?" Dean brushed the hair out of my face and looked at me in the eye, "That doesn't matter, it makes things better." Sam came up to my right side and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "What do you say princess? Will you let me and my brother keep you safe?" I closed my eyes at his words and breathed out a, " ** _YES."_**


	10. Good Day, Good Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy fluff  
> Another filler chapter.

**READER'S POV**

Dean pressed his forehead against mine and kissed my nose, "Thank you kid. It means a lot." I smiled up at him and Sam grabbed my hand, leading me back to their apartment. We all sat down around the table, ate and began research. "Um if this is going to happen how are things going to work out?" I was curious on how we would make this work. Sam grabbed my hand, giving me a reassuring squeeze, "It'll be like a totally normal relationship, expect we won't really be able to go on dates often but we'll figure something out." I blushed, "I've never been in any type of relationship.." Dean looked up from his laptop with a face of pure shock, "What?! Really?!" I nodded and looked into my lap, fiddling with my fingers, "Like I said boys have never been interested in me. I've always been sorta invisible." Dean closed his laptop and pulled me to couch with him. He put his arm around me and I rested on his chest, "Tell me about yourselves. Isn't that what you do first in a relationship? Get to know each other?" Dean softly chuckled, "Yeah. What do you wanna know?" I softly responded with _everything._ Sam was now sitting on my other side and sighed, "It might scare you. Its- we've been through a lot and it isn't really pretty." I sat up and looked at both of them, "You know about my personal life, all the nasty things I've been through. Just tell me.  It won't scare me, I promise."

 **Sam was soulless at one point. Dean was a demon not so long ago. They'd been to hell multiple times. Sam and Dean were vessels for archangels . They'd cheated death many, many times.** There was so much more, hell I thought I had a rough life. "I'm so sorry" was all I could say. "Don't be sorry kid, its what we were raised to do." I looked at Dean," There isn't any way you'd be able to live a normal life?" He shook his head no, "We've tried, this is the closet we've been to normal. Our dad didn't like us going to college but we managed to finish that and hunting. Sammy got a full ride to Stanford and I got a scholarship for a local college in Kansas. School on weekdays and hunting on weekends." "You guys are heroes, you know that right?" Sam and Dean both chuckled a bit, "Somebody's gotta fight these things off." I laughed at a sudden thought, "You guys are real life Ghostbusters, that's fucking sick!"

The rest of the night was spent laughing and getting to know each other. Dean loved classic rock and his car which was a 67 Chevy Impala. Oh and don't forget pie. Sam was more a simple person he loved reading and working out. I explained to them that I didn't really know what I liked. With Mark around I was sorta locked up and wasn't allowed to enjoy things. "Before my mom met Mark, she was a lovely person. Every Thursday  when she got her paycheck, we'd go to the record and book store. She'd always let me get two books and a cd." I told them that Mark was really nice when we first meet him but things had changed when he got injured. "I guess I kinda realize now that he was just disappointed in himself for not being able to do much." "Y/N, you're a sweet girl." I looked at Sam, "What makes you say that?" "After all that man has put you through, you forgive him? Honestly its truly amazing." Sam was giving me a large, dimpled smile and all I could do was smile back.

**DEAN'S POV**

Sam was right this girl was truly amazing, just forgiving Mark like that. Seeing her and Sammy like that, just smiling at each other, it made me realize how special this girl was. I'd never find a girl like her again. "Have you ever been kissed before?" She blushed and looked down, "Why?" I kneeled in front of her and lifted her chin to look at me, "I have a strong urge to kiss you that's why." Her eyes flickered to my lips and back to my eyes but she shook her head no. I grabbed her face in my hands and brushed her hair out of her face, "Can I show you?" She nodded yes and I softly pressed my lips to hers.

**READER'S POV**

Dean's lips were soft and plush against mine. I felt soft and warm and it was just incredible. He kept his lips in a tight form, not moving and not wanting to go any further than a simple closed mouth kiss. I pulled away and smiled brightly at him, "Thank you Dean, that was-" "Incredible." He finished my sentence and gave me a dopey little smile. Sam cleared his throat and I awkwardly laughed, "Sorry Sam." He just waved it off and said I should probably go and get some sleep. Sam offered to walk me to my apartment while Dean stayed to clean. I gave Dean a kiss goodbye and he responded with a 'See ya tomorrow princess.'

At my door, Sam awkwardly stood there with his hands in his pockets. He looked like a nervous teenager dropping his date off back at home. "Thank you Sam. Today was a really good day." "Yeah uhm it was." I stood up on my tippy toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He blushed a little but before I walked in, he grabbed my face and gave me a quick peck on the lips, "Goodnight princess." I closed the door to my apartment with a huge grin and a hand on my heart. Maybe it was just cause I'd never been in a relationship but god I was falling hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I already said something like this but id love to know you guys? What's your name? How old are you? What's your favorite supernatural episode? I think Its A Terrible Life is mine. I'm Alexia and I'm 16! I love you all so much! THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT!!!!! Please keep leaving your opinions and comments!


	11. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be updating for a while.. I sorry I've just been kinda depressed lately. I'm planning to update August 1st. Thank you for the support... I love you all very much. Please keep leaving your opinions/comments. xx  
> #AlwaysKeepFighting

**SAM'S POV**

I walked back into the apartment with the hugest grin on my face; the last time I felt this giddy was when Dean and I shared out first kiss. I found Dean already asleep in bed and I crawled under the sheets next to him. I kissed his forehead and laid on my back, thinking about Y/N. She was such a young, beautiful, strong girl and she chose us. After everything we told her she still wanted to date us. I was so wrong; all this fear of her being like Lisa was now long gone. It was soon but god the only person who managed to make my heart flutter like this was Dean. My eyelids became heavy as I let sleep take over me hoping I would dream of my two precious angels.

The next morning I woke up extra early to take my daily jog around the block and to not only cook Dean breakfast but some for Y/N too. At around 8, I woke up Dean and headed over to Y/N'S. She opened the door and it was clear she had just woken up. I chuckled at her bedhead and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She offered me some coffee which I offered to make instead while she went to get ready. As she got dressed, I made coffee and made a plate of food for her. She came out of her room in a pair of shorts and a long plaid shirt with a ponytail; she looked adorable. "Is that for me?", she signaled towards the plate of food in my hand. I nodded and placed it on the counter for her to eat. She began to dig in and I just stood and smiled at her, "Why do you keep looking at me like that? Damn it do I have something on my face?" I laughed at her cluelessness, "You're just really beautiful." She blushed a deep red and I began to lean in to kiss her when the door knocked; of course it was Dean. He kissed me on the lips saying good morning and made his way over to Y/N who didn't even seem bothered to see my brother kiss me. Then again she did walk in on us making out. He hugged her from behind and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "So princess, ready for today?" "OH! Yeah almost forgot about that! We'll be meeting Mrs. Carroll in half an hour! She's brining her husbands truck for all the big stuff."

**READER'S POV**

At around 10 in the morning, me and the Winchester brothers made our way to the old house. Sam insisted they drive in their own car so that we could fit in more stuff and not concern Mrs. Carroll about me hanging out with two men. When I pulled up Mrs. Carroll was waiting on the doorstep and was shocked to see the brothers, I had forgotten to tell her. "Good morning Mrs. Carroll! Sorry I forgot to tell you that I asked them for help." She waved it off and smiled, "Please call me Bella! Your mother really needs to lock her door!" I twisted the doorknob open and what I saw completely disgusted me. My mom had already turned the living room into some weed farm. Dean and Sam walked into and were totally taken aback as well. I cleared my throat, "Good thing my room is upstairs."

2 hours later, I got most of my stuff in the cars and was cleaning out my bathroom. Dean and Sam were in the driveway trying to figure out if they could manage to fit my dresser on the back of the truck and Bella was laughing at them bicker. I opened the bottom drawer to my sink and dropped to my knees. My razor was in here; I was actually really proud that I had forgotten about it. I stood up and was looking at it and didn't hear Dean coming upstairs or see him behind me, "What do you think you're doing?" I dropped it onto the counter as I jumped and turned around to look at him. He made his way to the counter, grabbed the razor and flushed it down the toilet. He made sure Bella wasn't around and wrapped his arms around me, "Never again. Please don't ever hurt yourself like that ever again. Me and Sammy will do whatever it takes to make you happy. Consider all this a new start okay?" I nodded into his chest and he pulled away, once again checking for Bella, and leaned in to kiss me. This time it was different. It was filled with so much passion; our lips moved in sync and I wanted to cry cause of how happy I felt. I pulled away and traced Deans jawline wit my fingertips. His eyes were shut and he leaned into my touch. I got up on my tippy toes and kissed his nose; he finally opened his eyes and there it was again, his dimple filled dopey little smile. "Thank you Dean." He pressed a soft kiss to my lips again and we went down to get Sam.

A half hour later I was back at my apartment, unpacking more boxes as Sam and Dean were brining more stuff in. I could see how exhausted they were getting so I quickly made some lemonade and insisted they take a little break. The boys gladly obliged and fell onto the bean bag and little sofa chair I used to have in my room. I looked around and let out a content sigh; I looked over at the boys who were smiling back at me. I raised my glass of lemonade and said "Here's to a new beginning!" 


	12. Suprise Visit?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this chapter I wanted to be open with you. The reason I wanna get to know you is cause I honestly don't have any friends. I'm a socially awkward person and I don't know how to make friends. I've been depressed since, believe or not 3rd grade. I was picked on by girls for not being skinny, pretty or girly. Boys picked on me because I dressed and acted like a boy which I believe lead to me finding out about my sexuality. I remember one day when the teacher wasn't paying attention I tried to cut my arm with a pair of scissors .  
> I've tried telling my parents but they blame it on other things and don't believe I'm depressed. My parents on a daily basis call me terrible names and tell me I'm fat. My father used to abuse me but not so much anymore. Its worse with him now 'cause he's been touching me more as in grabbing my breasts or butt. I know I should get help but I have a little sister who shouldn't have to go through this. You guys, the readers, and of course Supernatural are the only thing keeping me alive. Seeing all the nice things you've said about the story make me smile and happy. I've found happiness in all you. I hope to meet the cast one day and tell them what they mean to me. When I move in 2 years, I plan to save my money and go to a Con. My parents think its a waste of money and we're kinda broke at the moment. Just please all this is real, I want to create a bond between us because I love all you. You're my light at the end of the tunnel and I can't thank you enough. Always keep fighting. If you ever need someone my twitter is puddingcastiel and I've left my tumblr in previous chapters. I love you all so SO SO much, thank you for everything! Now , onto the chapter. :)

**READER'S POV**

The day back to school was terrifying; word had spread around about what happened. Everyone in school knew about Mark and my mom and everyone pitied me. I didn't like all the looks people gave me, it made me feel weak and broken. Dean and Sam had already started helping me on a path to recovery by letting them get rid of all my razors and diet pills. These men truly believed I could get better; I however was still uncertain.

  
When people had heard the news, I went from being invisible to everyone wanting to be my friend. Well except for Alice Till of course. I had known her since 2nd grade and she always managed to make my life a living hell. I never knew why she didn't like, she just didn't. Me, Dean and Sam agreed to all spend lunch together in Sam's room and continue more research. After school they were going go into the next town and try to find the thing. I of course had to stay at home and do nothing.

While I was walking to Dean's class for 4th period, I was tripped. I looked up to see Alice hovering over me, laughing, "You really think I care that you went through all that crap? Now its my turn to make your life a living hell." She yanked me up by the hair and spat in my face, "You're a little attention seeking whore! I bet you're lying about the whole thing!" I began to squirm and cry, "Let me go!" She laughed again, "You're such a crybaby!" She then threw me on the ground and walked away. No one even bothered to try and stop her, they all just stood and watched. I ran to 4th period and Dean saw me but class had already started. Alice walked in with a huge smirk on her face. She walked past me and knocked my books off my desk, "Oops sorry." She giggled and sat down. I picked them up and looked up at Dean who seemed angry as hell. The whole class I kept my nose down and only looked up to take notes every now and then. I could hear Alice and her little friends laughing and saying mean things about me. The bell rang and I stayed in my seat, waiting so I could talk to Dean. After everyone left he walked up to me, "What happened?" I cleared my throat hoping it wouldn't crack, "Alice pulled my hair and she spat in my face. She said I was lying that I'm an attention seeking whore." Dean grabbed my face in his hands and sighed, "That isn't true. None of it is true. Next time she does this I want you to go to the student dean and tell them okay?" I nodded and he quickly kissed my forehead.

Lunch was just research and the rest of the day was fast;nothing really interested happened the rest of the day. As soon as I got I began to study and do my homework like the good student I was. About 25 minutes later, there was a knock on my door and I found Dean and Sam there. I let them in and Dean said they only had come to say bye real quick. It was like seeing your loved one leave into armed forces; I was scared they weren't gonna come back. Sam pulled me into a hug and kissed me goodbye. Dean kissed me goodbye too and pressed his forehead against mine, "We'll be back in a couple hours okay kid?" I nodded and let him go, "Be safe please?" They both smiled and were on their way to avenge my friend.

Hours passed by and there was another knock in the door. I jumped to my feet, it had to be Sam and Dean! I opened the door to find a man in a black suit, "Can I help you?" He smiled St me, looking me up and down, "You must be Y/N, the Winchester's new toy!" I shifted uncomfortably, who was this guy, "How do you know my name?" He spoke again," My name is Crowley dear, I'm the king of hell." My eyes went wide in fear and I tried closing the door to only be slammed against the wall. God today was not a good day for me!  He made his way over to me and squatted to my level, "Listen dearie, me and the Winchesters we don't always get along. When I need you I need you I will be using you as leverage. If you dare tell them I came today I will not hesitate on killing you." I nodded and he petted my head, "Good, I'll see you later then." He snapped his fingers and he was gone. Hm I wonder if my therapist would believe me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if you write stories or want me to check one out that you like, definitely leave recommendations in the comments! Thank you! xx


	13. Not One But Both?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry last chapter kinda sucked hopefully this will be better!

**READER'S POV**

I took a shower after my encounter with Crowley and went to sleep after. That night my dreams were filled with nothing but terror. Mark was there and attacking me. He was working with Crowley and I was tied up being tortured. I was bleeding out and I could feel myself going in and out of consciousness. I was sobbing and the door flew open, it was the Winchesters. Sam and Dean came in with there knives out and guns blazing. Little did I know Alice was there too; it had been too late she stabbed Sam in the back. "SAM NO!" Dean and I watched as Sam fell to his knees and I sobbed as I saw the light leave his eyes. Dean had a look of pure hatred and determination to kill them. He was trying to fight them off but it was too much, Dean was stabbed by Mark. Dean looked at me and began to sob, "This is your fault." With that he fell dead to the floor and I was left all alone, crying and screaming. "Y/N! Y/N!" I was being shaken awake and I sat up, sobbing and sweating like I had just run a 10 mile marathon. Dean and Sam were on the side of my bed with worried expressions, I grasped onto Dean, "Is it you?" I placed my hand onto his face only to feel warm skin, he grabbed my hand, "Y/N it was just a dream." I hugged Dean and continued to sob. He rubbed my back and tried to soothe me. I looked up at Sam and grabbed his hand. He smiled warmly and walked around to my other side to grab me and hug me from behind. "Please stay with me. I don't wanna be alone tonight." "Are you sure?" Dean looked at me and I nodded. He laid me onto my bed and pressed a kiss to my forehead. Sam went to go get there stuff and I asked him how the hunt went. Dean sighed, "It was tough but we got the wolf. It wont be hurting anyone else." I nodded and curled into my blanket. Dean stood up and I looked at him, "Dean! You're hurt!" I got to my feet and he brushed it off, "Nothing big Y/N, don't worry I'm fine." I led him to the bathroom and made him take a shower. Sam had walked in and I made him take a shower as well. Before he entered I looked at him, "Hey uh Sam? Don't uh do any funny business in there please?" He laughed, "No problem babe." I got back into bed and found Deans shirt hanging from the chair. I took off my shirt and put his on. I snuggled back into bed and drifted off to sleep.

**DEAN'S POV**

The bathroom door opened and I called out Y/N's name but Sam had opened the curtain and stepped in. I was extremely surprised we both fit in but somehow we did. Sam looked at me sweetly and kissed me tenderly. I sighed and continued to wash myself. Sam spoke up, "She's having nightmares Dean but about what?" I shrugged, "All I know is she thought we were dead Sammy." "We'll ask her tomorrow." I nodded and finished up, stepping out so Sam could finish. I dried off, brushed my teeth and walked into Y/N's room. I found her curled into a blanket and wearing my shirt. It was too soon but seeing her in my clothes definitely turned me on. I picked her up gently so I could move into her right side and Sam could be on her left. I looked at her sleep and god she was beautiful. Her eyelashes were fanned against her upper cheeks, she had a light blush on her face and her mouth was slightly ajar, letting out small snores. I brushed her hair out of her face and she flinched slightly. I sighed and closed my eyes letting sleep take over me.

**SAM'S POV**

I combed out my hair and brushed my teeth and headed to her room. I walked in and found Dean and Y/N snuggled into each other. I sighed and smiled at the image in front of me; they were both so beautiful and they were all mine. I softly kissed each of their foreheads and laid in Y/N's left side. I laid there for a while and couldn't sleep. The fact that Y/N's already having these dreams about us dying was kinda bad. What if something actually did happen to us again? How would she take it? If a dream did that, what would the real thing do? I tried to shake these thoughts away to only be haunted by them in my dreams.

**READER'S POV**

The next morning I woke up in a Winchester sandwich. Sam was pressed to my back and Dean was facing me, their fingers interlocked at my waist. I smiled and successfully managed my way out of it without waking them. It was 6:30, school started at 7:45. I made my way downstairs to get my mail and found a letter from the court. I got to my apartment to find Sam awake and making coffee. He walked over to me and kissed me saying good morning. He saw what was in my hands and asked what it was. I shrugged and opened it. It stated: _Dear Miss Y/L/N, We are having a hearing tomorrow for Mr. Markus Harper. As the victim you are to be there promptly at 10 am. This hearing will decide on an outcome for his crime against you. Thank you for your time and we hope to see you tomorrow._ I sighed and explained to Sam about what the letter had said. He sat down next to me and pulled me into him, "I'll have Dean go with you tomorrow and I'll get your assignments for tomorrow. He was the one who saw the bruises. I'm pretty sure we got a letter too. Don't worry about it. I can guarantee he's gonna be locked up for a long time. He's not gonna hurt you;me and Dean are going to protect you no matter what. Now go get dressed, I wanna take you somewhere before school starts." I nodded and got up to get ready.

We woke Dean and Sam and me went to a nearby bookstore. I nearly teared up when I saw the store, "My mom took me here." Sam grabbed my hand again and smiled gently, "Hey its okay we can go to another store." I brushed it off and said it was fine. He kissed my hand and we headed in. He got me some lore books and some of his favorites. We headed to the music section and I picked up some artists I found interesting like Halsey, Twenty One Pilots and Melanie Martinez. Sam also insisted on buying me a laptop and iPod. "Sam you shouldn't spoil me." He laughed and hugged me, "Its no big deal baby girl. Let me do this for you." I smiled and we left back to the apartment. We found Dean dressed and ready to go. He and Sam headed out first and I waited about 10 minutes before I left. I opened he door to find Alice staring right at me, "So you little slut, dating Mr. Winchester huh? Not one but both?"


	14. I'll Do Anything To Keep You Both Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also have Skype if anyone is interested! Just I'd love to get to know you all! Thank you once again for all the love and support! You're all rays of sunshine and I love you all so much!

**READER'S POV**

She pushed past me and made her way into my apartment, "I bet you're wondering how I found out huh? Well I saw you and Sam in an interesting position in the music section at the book store. I decided to follow you and saw **both** of them leave the apartment." "Please let me explain!" She raised her hand up and tsked me, "I won't tell anyone only if you do what I tell you." I nodded eagerly, "Anything Alice, I'll do  anything!" She smirked, "Well first you'll be doing all my homework the rest of the year. Second, I'll be talking with Mr. Winchester about this but I want an A and a decent fuck every now and then. Last but not least I get to bug you whenever I want. It makes me look cool." I was holding back tears, I didn't mind the other too but Dean? He was mine; I was probably being selfish but only me and Sam could touch him. I hadn't even slept with him yet but I just nodded. I didn't want anyone to find out. She laughed and clapped her hands together, "See I'm not such a bitch!" She patted my cheek and walked out, in a taunting voice she said, "See you at school Y/N!" I let a few tears drop and took in deep breaths. I sent a group messages to the boys saying : _Alice found out, need to talk to you both._

I quickly got in my car and drove way past the speed limit, trying to hurry and get to school in time. I arrived with 10 minutes left and jogged to Dean's class. In there I found Dean and Sam talking in a panicked tone. Both of them had ruffled hair as if they had run their hand through it many times and worried expressions. They looked at me, "She saw me and Sam this morning, hugging, she followed us and saw you two leave my apartment. She said she wouldn't tell if we did 4 things." Dean and Sam motioned for me to continue, "She wants an A in your class." Dean nodded, "That's fine, I can do that." "She wants me to do her homework the rest of the year which i'm okay with.  Also-" I stopped and began to breath hard, tears filled my eyes and my chest tightened; Sam grabbed my arm and had me hold onto him for support, I was having an anxiety attack. Dean grabbed my chin, "Come on Y/N, its okay. You can tell us. Deep breathes baby." He placed my hand on his chest and told me to feel him breathing and match it with his. "She wants me to let her bully me, it makes her look cool." Sam scoffed, "What a bitch, does she really believe messing with you will make her look cool? Unbelievable!" I grabbed Dean's hand, "There's one more thing." Dean looked at me, encouraging me to say it, "She wants you to sleep with her."  

**DEAN'S POV**

I walked back and hit my desk; is this what I had become? The teacher who fucks his own damn students? The bell had rung and I urged them out of my class, "We'll talk about this later." I turned around to my desk and kicked it; what had I done?

Classes were shit today; I gave them an assignment and didn't talk or give a lesson. I sat and contemplated on my options; I could do what Alice says or break up with Y/N. We had only been dating a week and we had already gotten caught. No I didn't get caught, Sam did; this was Sam's fault! I clenched my fists, this was his fault. First if he hadn't been a damn horny teenager I would've never fallen in love with him. Second if he could only control himself, Y/N wouldn't have caught us making out. And now if he hadn't taken Y/N out and be good to her, everything would be okay. I was being a dick; why would I think about Sammy like that? I leaned back in my seat and let out a shaky breath; no this wasn't Sam's fault, my baby boy this wasn't his fault, it was mine. I couldn't resist Y/N; she was such a beautiful girl and I couldn't help myself. I had to have her and now that I did, I would not give her up. I made my choice.

Alice had showed up early for 4th period and sat next to me on my desk; she was wearing her cheerleading uniform and her skirt was pulled up quite a bit, showing off her creamy white thighs, "So Mr. Winchester, I'm guessing the little bitch talked to you about my deal?" I gave her a stern look, "Don't call her that and yes she did Ms. Till." She leaned towards me, trying to expose her breasts to me, "And what's your decision?" I was going to regret this, "Yes Ms. Till, I agree to your terms." She threw he head back and laughed, "I knew you couldn't resist me!" Y/N had walked in and saw the compromising position Alice was in; she looked down and I heard her sniffle. She was hurt, now I knew why she panicked in telling me. She was like me, selfish, she didn't wanna share me and Sammy. Ms. Till has walked away and swayed her hips, trying to look sexy. I scoffed, placed the assignment on the side of my desk and opened a book, refusing to look at Alice.

The bell for lunch rang and all my students eagerly left the class. Ms. Till had blown me a kiss and winked before she left, I tried not to gag. Its not that she wasn't pretty, she was just such an ugly person on the inside. I loved sensitive people like Sam. He had walked in and Y/N stood up and walked over to my desk, "What did you choose?" I sighed and ran a hand over my face, "Yes, I  said yes." "What? Why?" Sam had said in such an anger tone, it made me flinch. I looked up at him to find his face red with anger and his fists clenched so hard they were almost white. It was my turn to get angry, "Why wouldn't I say yes? If I hadn't we would probably go to jail, lose our jobs and most of all we would lose Y/N!" I looked at her and saw her just staring off into the distance with tears flowing down her face. Sam saw her and his exterior softened, "Y/N baby don't cry please." He hugged her and she just stood there; he then grabbed her face, "Baby what's wrong? Look at me please." She looked at him and softly spoke, "Is this my fault Sam?" He let out a sad sigh, "God no, we were stupid. Its not your fault." She just nodded and snuggled her face into Sam's chest. Sam cleaned up her tears and looked back at me, "I can't believe you; you're just handing yourself over to her like that?" I sighed, "I dont like it either Sam," I looked at Y/N, "But I'll do anything to keep you both safe." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS I got a new story up! Its Dean/reader please check it out if you're interested!


	15. I Wanna Be Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to know why did you guys start reading this? What made you wanna read it? Love you guys :)

**DEAN'S POV**

It hurt me knowing Sam was disappointed in me, but I had no choice. He has to know how I feel; we've lost each other so many times that I couldn't bare losing Y/N. I was scared that this whole me sleeping with Alice would tear me and Sam apart. The rest of the day was a blur and the only thing running through my head was the sound Y/N's broken voice and the look of disappointment and anger on Sam's face. At the end of the day I was greeted by Alice; she locked the door behind her and covered the small window on it. She seductively made her way to me and hopped onto my desk; she opened her legs up and played with my hair, "You ready Mr. Winchester?" I closed my eyes and nodded. She pressed her lips to mine and I shut my eyes tightly, trying hard to pretend it was Sammy not her.

**SAM'S POV**

Me and Dean agreed that after school me and Y/N would just head home. She drove her car a couple blocks down and I meet her there and she drove us home. I insisted on staying with Y/N while we waited for Dean; she did her homework, I corrected papers and looked for possible cases. I would look up every now and then to look at her to find her in a frustrated state of mind. I dropped my pen, stood up and placed my hands on her shoulders which startled her, "Sam what're you doing?" I shushed her and began to rub her shoulders, "You're too tense relax." She let out a little laugh which slightly relaxed her, "Look who's talking?" I smiled a bit and bent down to place a kiss on her neck. She tensed up and I apologized, "Sorry uh that god too soon." She turned around and stood up laughing; she placed her hands on my chest and looked up at me through her eyelashes, "I kinda liked it." I let out a shaky breath; her confidence was slowly building up around us and god it was hot. I grabbed her face in my hands and pressed my lips into hers for a hot, wet opened mouth kiss. She hummed against me and slowly kissed me back. I slid my hands into her hair, raking through and gently pulling which caused her to gasp and I used the opportunity to slide in my tongue. She freaked out and pulled away from me, "God Y/N I'm sorry!" She awkwardly laughed, "Sorry not used to such intensity." I rubbed the back if my neck, "No its okay, totally my fault. I've been with Dean for so long that I've forgotten whats it like to be with someone else." She made her way back to me and snuggled way into my arms, "Don't be sorry. Just not ready for that yet." I nodded and kissed her forehead; there was a loud noise and I realized it was a door slamming shut, Dean was home. Me and Y/N made our way to the apartment and found Dean on the kitchen floor with a bottle with whiskey in his hand. He looked up at us and he broke down, letting tears fall from his face, "God I'm so disgusted with myself. I can't believe I did that. How can I live with myself?" I sat down next him and wrapped my arms around him, "Hey hey hey shhhh its okay Dean." He placed his face into the crook of my neck and sobbed, "It was so hot, sticky and gross Sam. I tried to pretend it was you. But I'm just so grossed out, I didn't even finish. I'm sorry I had to be stupid Sam, I'm sorry I had to have Y/N." Y/N just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say so I said," Hey we all did this, we all wanted each other. Its not out fault some horny cheerleader ruined it. Dean its okay, we'll get through thus, we always do."

**READER'S POV**

I felt weird just standing there, like I shouldn't be here; I was invading a very intimate personal moment. Dean looked up and opened his arms to me; I straddled his waist and placed my head on his chest, "I'm sorry Dean." He just nestled his face into my hair, "Not your fault kiddo." He grabbed my face to look up at him, "Y/N I want you to know that I'm so glad you chose us. I never though a sweet girl like you would wanna be messes like us.  I chose you cause as soon as I talked to you I realized we'd never meet a girl like you ever again, you're truly one of a kind and I'm so glad you're ours." Tears filled my eyes and I kissed Dean, "Thank you for choosing me." I kissed Sam, "Thank you for showing me happiness again." Dean smiled and lifted me up, taking me over to the couch; homework and papers forgotten for a while, we cuddled onto the couch. Sam went to the stereo and played a song that truly fit the mood:

**_I wanna be your vacuum cleaner_ **   
**_Breathing in your dust_ **   
**_I wanna be your Ford Cortina_ **   
**_I will never rust_ **   
**_If you like your coffee hot_ **   
**_Let me be your coffee pot_ **   
**_You call the shots babe_ **   
**_I just wanna be yours_ **


	16. Something's Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I saw Suicide Squad last night! aaghhhh it was good! Also I wanna dedicate chapters to people so comment if you'd like to have one? I don't wanna be like I'm choosing favorites so yeahhhh! Question for you guys: Whats your favorite song at the moment? Mines Space Oddity:)

**SAM'S POV**

Over the past two weeks, Dean had been messing around with Alice. In total it'd been 6 times already and every time Dean would come home a mess; Dean felt disgusted after and just it was tearing him apart. It was like he had the Mark all over again; he was angry or frustrated and he began to drink a lot like usual. I tried to get him to stop with the drinking, it was beginning to scare Y/N and I don't think he realized that. During our hunts Dean became more violent, sometimes he was even reckless and almost risking his life. Last week he was almost killed by a spirit; it had a hand on his heart and it seemed like he didn't even wanna fight back. I'd wake up in middle of the night to find Dean in a sweaty mess, thrashing around in our bed, screaming with tears down his face. He refused to talk to me, which was tearing me apart; how was I going to help him if he wouldn't even let me touch him?

The good thing I guess was Y/N had began to trust me more; she'd come to me after a bad day and tell me about how she wish Alice didn't go to her school. I would help her with homework and she'd comfort me when I was feeling down about Dean. She admitted she was scared Dean would end up like Mark. I reminded her that Mark was given a 15 year sentence in jail. She was still having nightmares as well about Mark but something else was bothering and she wouldn't say. Y/N's cuts and bruises had healed and she would tell me about still had the urge to hurt herself. I had talked to her about how for a while I had even thought about self-destruction when I was younger and that I never did it cause I had found happiness in Dean. She said she found happiness in me and Dean but was slowly losing Dean.

It was another one of those days and Dean came in slamming the door and headed for the whiskey. Y/N was at work so I decided it would be a good time to say enough  to Dean. I stood and grabbed the whiskey from his hand, dropping it into the trash can. "What the hell Sam?!" "Dean that's enough! Its been two fucking weeks, you need to talk to me!" He scoffed and looked in the fridge for beer to find none in there," I'm not doing any harm leave me alone." "OH really?! No harm huh?! How about the fact that Y/N is scared of you now?" A look of realization hit his face and he ran a hand through his hair, "God Sam I'm sorry. I lost myself again." I sighed and sat down to continue research, "Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Y/N when she gets here." He gave me a sad look and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I pressed my ear to the bathroom door and there it was I heard soft sobs. I opened the door and found him sitting on the toilet seat lid with his head in his hands; I kneeled in front of him and pulled his hands away. He looked up and a sob broke through and he threw his arms around me, "Sammy I'm so sorry god I've been such a bad boyfriend to you let me make it up to you and Y/N. I've been so terrible, Alice is just such a monster and I hate it. Sammy im gonna try and stop this. You think Cas could fix it?" I had  forgotten about Cas! I grabbed Dean's face and kissed him, "You're absolutely brilliant! I'm gonna call him!"

These past two weeks have been hell and I had forgotten about damn Cas! I called him and at the 2nd ring I heard his gruff voice through the phone, "Hi Sam. How are you?" "Cas good good! Can you stop by our apartment lets say 7? You can bring Meg!" There was a sound of worry in his voice, "Is everything fine?" "Yes fine! Just please?" I heard him sigh and could hear the smile in his voice," Okay, we'll be there." I hung up with a see ya and fist bump towards tube air; thank god for angels. I heard the door close and ran to Y/N, hugging her and spinning her around, "Whoa Sam! Happy to see you too?" I laughed and grabbed her face, "I found the answer to our problems! It'll be here at 7!" She looked at me confused and I just kissed her forehead.

At exactly 7, Castiel and Meg showed up. "Uh Mr. Novak?" Cas looked behind me and found Y/N standing there; we hadn't told him yet. I had them sit down first and explained Dean was napping. I told them about the past 3 weeks and how we were in a relationship with Y/N; they had already known about me and Dean. I explained to Y/N that Cas was an angel that was kicked out of heaven for falling in love with Meg, who used to be a demon. "The reason I called you over Cas is because we wanted you to get rid of Alice's memory. Erase everything she has about me, Dean and Y/N." Cas was processing this and moved his hands, signaling between me and Y/N, "You know his is highly illegal right?" "I'm turning 18 in 4 months." Cas and Meg exchanged a look and he let out a sigh of defeat, "I'll do it." He grabbed Meg's hand and smiled, "I understand now what it means to adore someone up to the point you'd die for them."

I led him to Dean who was cuddled into his pillow and having another nightmare. I saw a wave of pity flash across Cas' face and I nodded to him. He pressed two fingers against his forehead and all those nasty memories of Alice were gone. As soon as he did it, I saw Dean lose his tense grip on the pillow and he relaxed into a peaceful sleep. I smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and hugged Cas.  I hoped when he'd wake up everything would be better.

**READER'S POV**

Sam had explained to me that he sent a message to Alice through Dean's phone, and deleted it right after including her number, to come over so Cas could do his angel magic. God could my life get any more crazy? My favorite teacher was literally an angel of the lords or used to be. AND his wife used to be a demon? Now that was like something straight out of a movie; i'd probably watch that movie if it ever came out. I anxiously bounced my foot up and down waiting for her then the doorbell rang. Sam opened it and Alice walked in with a bitch face, "Why am I here?" Sam nodded to me and I walked up to her, "This is for Dean." I punched her in the gut and she huddled over in pain, "You fucking bitch, I'll get y-" Cas had pressed his fingers to her forehead which caused her to pass out; he pulled them away and gave a small smile, "There its gone. The deal with Dean and her anger towards Y/N." I smiled at him and jumped onto him, giving him a hug, "You're the best person ever Mr. Novak!" He awkwardly pat my back and Dean walked out. He was still groggy, "What's up guys?" He was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and somehow Cas managed to zap him, Meg and Alice away. Sam stammered over his words, "H-heh hey sleepy head!" He grunted and headed for a cup of coffee which earned a disapproving look from Sam, "Dude its 7 pm." Dean checked the clock, "Huh, i don't remember it being that  late." Dean pressed his palms to his forehead," Man I hate this feeling." I became anxious, "UH what feeling babe?" He leaned against the counter, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Like something's missing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THSNK YOU FOR 100 KUDOS NEVER THOUGHT ID GET THAT MANY! LOVE YOU ALL!!!


	17. Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Awkward person ,who commented and said it was an attempt at flirting. Whoever you are I'd like to talk to you haha :) ;) onto the chapter!

**READER'S POV**

  
I looked over at Sam who had truly learned how to ace a poker face; he wasn't worried that Dean would find out at all. I however was terrified and tried my best to not let it show and excused myself saying I was tired and I headed back to my apartment. I ran a nice hot bubble bath and hooked up my phone blasting a song I felt described my emotions at the moment. 'Ride' by Twenty One Pilots had easily become one of my favorite songs; it perfectly described me. The whole idea of willing to die for someone but being too afraid to live for them. But out of the whole song, the part I liked most was Tyler's words, **_"I've been thinking too much/ I've been thinking too much/ Help me."_** It reminded me of how I felt towards Sam; over the past 2 weeks, we had gotten closer and I had opened up to him so much about what I was thinking about and how sad I actually felt. I pressed a hand to my chest, above my heart, and smiled at how the speed picked up when I thought of the Winchesters. For some reason tears began to stream down my face and I heard a knock on the door, "Y/N can I come in?" It was Dean and I tried to wipe the tears off my face but my voice betrayed me and cracked a bit, "Come in." He opened the door and kneeled next the bathtub, "Are you okay sweetheart?" I nodded and laughed a bit, "Dean happy tears." He smiled and looked down, being polite and not looking at my compromising position in the bathtub, "Why'd you come over Dean? I like left 10 minutes ago. Miss me already?" He let out a laugh and nodded his head no, "Sam told me the truth; about Alice. Last year we made the promise try and stop lying to each other. I wanted to come and apologize for the past 2 weeks. I didn't mean to become like that, you know a monster." He fiddled with his fingers, refusing to look at me; I gently caressed his face in my hands, making him look at me, "Hey, I understand. Dean you were just trying to keep us safe. I mean I really wish it hadn't happened, I don't like the fact that Alice got to I don't know be with you like that. Only Sammy can do that and just I hated seeing you come home and lose yourself in the alcohol. You aren't a monster Dean, you're an amazing person." He gave me a little smile and I saw tears brim his eyes; I leaned in for the first time ever and engaged him in a kiss. I placed my hands on his chest and he tangled his hands into my slightly wet hair and we shared a passionate kiss; we hadn't kissed his in over 2 weeks. I could feel the tears stream down his face and all I could do was move my lips against his lips, trying to show him how I felt for him. I pulled away catching my breath and I leaned my forehead against his and placed little lazy kisses around his face. His hands went from my hair to the back of my neck to the front of it, his fingers gently tracing everything like I was a fragile doll. I took in a sharp breath when he went over the top of my breasts, "God you're so beautiful." I looked up at him through my eyelashes and blushed, softly, I breathed out his name. It was so intimate the way his fingers traced every part of my face as if he were trying to memorize every inch of me, "Can I give you something?" I nodded and his lips went to my pulse point; he sucked in the skin, licking and biting. I let out a small moan and raked  my fingers through his hair.  Before he pulled away, he pressed a small kiss to the small hickey on my neck; he gently ran his fingers over it and let out a content little sigh, "Mine. You're  mine now. Always will be." He pressed another kiss to my lips and got up to leave. He closed the bathroom door and I laid back down in the tub, softly I said  "I love you Dean Winchester." I closed my eyes and let the music play. Maybe it was just that I had never known any other over but him and Sam's that I had fallen quickly for them. I wanted to spend every waking moment with team and I didn't know if it was a bad thing.  

**DEAN'S POV**

I had heard her; I heard those three words fall from her mouth. I was in a haze as I walked into the apartment, did I love her back? I knew I cared for her deeply. I knew that I wanted to be with her for a long time. I mean that's why I marked her with a love bite right? It is called a love bite for a reason. Sam was fast asleep in bed and I laid there, not tired but filled with thoughts. The only reason I was scared to admit I loved her was the possibility we were moving too fast. What  I had just done was the most intimate thing I'd ever with her; things were getting serious. We had been through so much together already that it was forming a strong bond between us. I was shaken out of my thoughts when I heard my phone ding with a message. I unlocked it to find a text from an unknown number saying: _W_ _e need to talk Dean. Meet me  at Jones park in 10 minutes._

I took all that I possibly could knives, gun, salt, holy water, whatever I could manage to fit in my jacket and jeans. I left Sammy a note just in case and headed out. I sat at a bench and I heard a voice I hadn't heard in years, "Hey Dean how ya been?" I looked up to find Lisa standing in front of me with her arms crossed. I clenched my jaw, "What do you want Lisa?" I began to head for the knife in my sleeve and she laughed; she threw herself into my lap, "Baby I miss you! I wanna be with you! No one makes me feel the way you do and god I miss you so much." I pushed her off me and began to walk away; I was thrown across the grass and looked up to find back eyes staring back  at me," Crowley wants to talk to you." Then it was all black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I wanted to know, I comment back to some of you, do you get my replies? Please let me know :)


	18. Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update yay! Guys school starts this Thursday and I am terrified!!!! Also season 11 spoilers? I decided to make The Darkness a character in the story but its different from the show. Sorry its short. Long one tomorrow? Promise :)

**DEAN'S POV**

I woke up in a musty dark room with a bad headache and the taste of blood in my mouth. I looked up to find Crowley leaning against a table and twirling a knife in his hands, "Good morning sleeping beauty!" I rolled my eyes, "What do you want Crowley?" He placed the knife down and he began to pace the room, "Something new has struck this planet and I thought you should know." "Are you fucking kidding me? You couldn't call me?" "This thing is nothing you've ever known or faced. Its much more powerful. Its called The Darkness, terrible name and you released her when you got rid of the Mark." The Darkness? How come I didn't know about this? "She's God's sister and lets just say she isn't happy about being trapped for about you a billion years or so. She plans on destroying the planet and I thought you ought to know." "You seriously just couldn't call me?" He chuckled, "Well I miss you Dean, don't you remember our summer of bromance?"  I groaned at the thought, it was a dark time, literally I was a damn demon doing his dirty work. "I'll keep you updated." He snapped his fingers and I was in the bathroom of my apartment. I turned on the shower and stepped in, leaning my head against the wall and trying to process all this. God, the god had a sister? I let the water fall over me and began to wish for a normal life. God if you're listening, why couldn't you let me, Sammy and Y/N have normal lives? Why do we have to suffer? Tears began to fall from my eyes and that thought of wanting to self destruct crossed my mind.  I considered going and buying more liquor just to drink my problems away, not having to worry about them. I heard a loud thud and shut off the water. I wrapped a towel around my waist, grabbed my gun and walked into the room where me and Sammy slept. I slowly opened the door to find Sammy on his knees on the floor, clutching his forehead and shouting in pain. "SAMMY?! WHAT'S WRONG SAM?!" He let go and looked at me with panic filled eyes, "Cage, I was back in the cage Dean." He was grasping onto me for dear life and I wrapped him in my arms, stroking his hair and whispering it was okay to him.

He calmed down and I made him a cup of tea; I explained to him about the past hour about Crowley and this whole God's sister thing wanting to destroy the planet. It was 3 in the morning when we finally went to bed. _There_ _was black fog everywhere and s lady in a black dress standing in middle of it all. She turned to me and pulled at the strap of her dress to reveal the Mark of Cain on her shoulder, "You and me Dean we're connected. My name is Amara." She walked up to me and pressed a kiss to my lips. I didn't pull back, I felt a strong connection to her. It wasn't love but more of an urge to protect her like she was a part of me._

I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off and I sat up in a sweaty mess. I ran to the bathroom and splashed cold water across my face. I clutched my bathroom sink and placed my fingers to my lips; _I could still taste her on my lips like it had actually happened._ Sam stood in the doorway, "You okay?" "I'll explain later. What about you? How are you feeling?" I grabbed his face in my hands, examining it and he gently pushed away, "What're you talking about dude? I feel great!" I looked at him confused, "You don't remember last night?" He looked back it me confused as well, "No why? Were you really rough on me last night?" I groaned in annoyance, "No Sammy! You don't remember falling to the floor saying you were back in the cage?" He was generally confused and nodded his head no.  He grabbed his head and his eyebrows were knit in concentration, trying to remember last nights events, "I just remember the whole Darkness thing." "Amara, that's her name. She's got the Mark Sam. We released this thing and gotta put it back." Her words rang in my head and I cringed at them, **_"I am the beginning and I will_**   _ ****_ _ **be the end."**_ ****


	19. I Think.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got an ask.fm now too! Same name puddingcastiel! My picture is Jensen and Misha! So ask away on there guys! Tumblr is crazynothingyo! And my twitter is also puddingcastiel! Please talk to me guys, I've been going through some things and would love to talk to someone. Thank you guys! Keep leaving comments

**READER'S POV**

I was about to leave when I heard a knock on my door; I opened it to find Dean standing there with a box in his hands. He looked sleep deprived but he just smiled and handed me the box. I opened it to find a necklace with a pendent that looked like a star in a circle with flames around it. He unbuttoned the top of his shirt and showed the same marking tattooed on his chest, "To keep demons out." He grabbed the necklace from my hand and asked me to turn around; he swept my hair to one shoulder and put the necklace on me with a kiss pressed to the back of my neck. "Thank you Dean." He smiled and said it was no problem with a final peck he took off to school.

I dreaded seeing Alice at school but I walked past her and she didn't even acknowledge me. I let out a breath I seemed to be holding in and actually smiled. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad now at school. I went to the library before school started to do some research on an English assignment Dean had given the class. I was walking around the library and saw a boy staring at me through the top of his book. He kept making that awkward eye contact with me and would blush every time I caught him staring. He was really starting to freak me, he was just staring! I put the book in my hands down and walked over to him. He tried to push his face further in the book as if it were going to hide him from me. I cleared my throat, "Hey kid? Can you please stop looking at me? Its starting to freak me out." He put the book down and was a tomato red color and he stumbled over his words, "I-I'm sorry. Y-you're pretty." I sighed and brushed it off, walking away; was that harsh just walking away and not saying anything back? I mean I'm with Dean and Sam; I couldn't be messing with other guys! Was I even allowed to talk to other guys? I checked the book out and walked to my first period, wondering if I even knew what a relationship was.

4th period comes around and I'm already stressing over the English assignment Dean's given us. It was a research project on a person of our choice and I had chosen Stephen King. The essay would be easy but presenting the PowerPoint slide to the whole class, now that was nerve wreaking. When this whole relationship started, Dean and Sam insisted on going easy on me school-wise but I denied; I wasn't gonna be successful in life if I never did my work. The class period was spent in the library and there he was again; the kid who was staring at me earlier today. I took a good look at him this time; he had blondish hair and dark ocean blue eyes with a pair of black square rimmed glasses. Dean had been walking around, checking up on students and helping them out when he noticed this boy. I saw him give the kid a glare that could kill and the boy looked down and walked away in fear. Dean had squatted next to me and skimmed what I had began to write for my essay, "That's really good Y/N! Who was that kid?" I shrugged, "I have no idea, he just keeps looking at me." He scoffed in a playful manner, "Maybe he's gotta  thing for you."

I was in a bit of a shock; a boy I had never, ever seen before might have a thing for me? Nah he probably just thinks I'm weird like everyone else. I mean I'm used to people staring at me because  I'm weird; normal was overrated. Dean and Sam made sure to remind me everyday that I wasn't normal and that it was totally okay. I guess nowadays it was a trend to be weird and different; nowadays things like mental illnesses were glamorized and it hurt my feelings. I was actually depressed and at one point suicidal and now it was totally cool? It was sick and gross and it just made me angry. People thought I was faking and doing it for attention at one point but its been all real. After the whole Mark incident, people had hushed up about it, some even apologized for being rude to me. This boy who kept staring at me, I had never seen before and I knew pretty much everyone here since I liked to observe everyone instead of interacting with them.

Today I had actually went inside the cafeteria for lunch; I hadn't been in here since my freshmen year. Dean had told me to be careful; he wasn't so sure about this guy but I just think he was being the protective guy he was. Sure enough he was right next to me in the lunchline  when he finally spoke up, "Hey I'm sorry about staring at you. I'm not very socially prepared and I just thought you were pretty. My names James, I'm new here." I smiled at him as I paid for my lunch, "Thanks James. It was nice to meet you but I must be going now." He grabbed my hand, trying to stop me and I faced him, "You wanna go out Friday?" I rolled my eyes, ughhhh! I didn't wanna be mean but I couldn't  go out with him either! I brushed my hair to side, trying to show off the love bite I had been trying to hide all day and he got the message and let go of my hand, apologizing and walking away. I mentally face palmed myself, that was a bitchy move Y/N!

I drowsly made my way to Dean's room to work on my art project. Dean notice my sudden lack of interest in my project which I was excited for when I had received it; "What's wrong kiddo?" I sighed, "No inspiration." He laid across his desk with a pencil in his mouth and in a 'sexy' pose he said, "Paint me like one of your French ladies." I let out a loud belly laugh and almost snorted at his attempt to inspire me. I threw a piece of my pizza crust at him, "Nice try Deano!" He pulled his chair next to mine and leaned his head onto one elbow, observing me with compassion filled eyes, "What's the topic for the project?" I hesitated for a second but said it, " _love."_

He almost fell off his chair at the mention of the word like it scared him. I giggled at his reaction, "Now you understand why I'm having trouble with it." He looked genuinely hurt, "What do me and Sammy not give you any love?" I didn't know what to say I was speechless. "I heard you last night Y/N. I know you thought you only said it loud enough for you to hear but I did. You said you loved me last night." I froze in my chair and I felt the need to crawl into a dark hole and hide forever; he had heard me. I sat there, awkwardly, afraid if I said something it might not be the right thing to say. The bell rung and I tried to quickly walk out but Dean had stooped with me a quick kiss to my lips, "In all fairness, I think I love you too." 


	20. NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you guys be interested in a possible Cockles/ Reader story? I've got some ideas!! Also I might be updating on Wednesdays now! I don't know yet... And lets not forget..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY MISHA!! HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN AND I CAN'T THANK HIM ENOUGH! He's taught me to embrace my weirdness and I love him so much! So happy birthday to Misha! :) :) :) I might start updating in Wednesdays so yeahhhhh...

**READER'S POV**

I was in such a haze that in the hallway I bumped into someone, dropping all their things like a clumsy fool. I knelt down to pick up the things and finally looked up to find a red–faced, teary eyed James, "James? What's wrong?" He stammered over his words and couldn't help but wonder if this is what I looked like every time I went to Sam or Dean for comfort, "What did I expect? Everyone to love me or wanna be my friend? People keep being mean to me; I mean i's the new kid what did I expect?" He rubbed his tears away with the back of his palms and I decided to do something I had never done before, "Do you wanna get out of here?" He sniffled, "Like cut class?" I was unsure of myself but nodded either way; I mean it could be fun! He nodded and I grabbed his hand heading straight for the back door to the gym.

We had successfully cut class without getting caught and we were currently headed to the a bowling ally near the movie theater. James had moved here all the way from New York after his parents divorced; he was living with his mom and was an only child. I apologized to him many times about the incident in the cafeteria explaining that I was in what I believed was a serious relationship and also didn't have any friends. He showed me musicians he loved dearly who weren't so bad but totally hipster like The White Stripes, The Black Keys, The Smiths and many, many others. I couldn't describe how I felt around James; it had been so long since I'd had an actual friend and it made me all warm and giddy!

In middle of scandalous adventure of bowling and pizza I got a text from Sam:  
**_Baby? Where the hell are you? Are you okay?!? Please message me back!_**  
As bad as it might seem, I laughed at Sam's panicky text; I felt I don't know, loved? I replied back saying I had cut class due to actually making a friend. He didn't respond. I brushed it off and lost myself in the exciting new experience I was enjoying with James but I was extremely ancy and terrified  on the inside. Was he jealous? Or even worst, angry with me?

At around 6pm I finally was on my way home. I crept up the stairs to my apartment and the Winchester's door didn't even creak open. I continued to my apartment and opened the door to two disapproving men sitting at my kitchen table, waiting for me. I tried to play cool, "Hi boys!" Dean pushed himself out of the chair and grabbed me with his hand on my waist and the other on my neck, examining me "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" I shrugged him off and headed for the fridge, parched for some water, "Guys I'm fine!" I took a massive gulp and turned to the two of them, "I think I may have actually made a friend." Both their expressions softened and they got up to leave, "Here's todays homework." Sam left it on the table and left, leaving me and Dean alone, "Is he mad at me Dean?" Dean sighed, "He was just really worried kiddo." I let out a deep breath and nodded, heading over to the table to begin my homework. Dean stopped me before I sat and pressed his forehead against mine, "I meant what I said earlier you know." I gulped as my mouth went dry and I couldn't seem to figure out the words. I fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt and kept my eyes shut; all I could ask was, "Really?" He gently kissed the top of my eyelids causing me to open them and I found him staring at me with compassion filled eyes and a small smile on his face, "Really." I pulled back a little and put on a goofy little smirk, "Likkkkeee really really? Or just really?" He chuckled and pressed his lips into mine, igniting a deep kiss. I felt dizzy but a good dizzy. My knees went weak and I knew I would've fallen if I wasn't so latched onto Dean; I felt so warm, I wanted to burst into flames. There was a loud bang and crash with a yell from Sam and a panicked Dean pulled away quickly, accidentally tearing my lip. He pulled out his gun and ran to Sam, telling me to stay where I was.  I heard him begin to yell Sam's name and furniture being tossed around. I quickly rinsed out my mouth and placed a towel to my lip to try and stop the blood. I walked cautiously into the apartment and found Dean pacing with his head in his hands reaping the word no in a cracky, panicked voice.

I looked around to find the place torn inside out; there was glass all over the floor, chairs had been kicked done but the worst part, there was no Sam. Realizing the situation I croaked out Deans name and tears began to stream down my face. He looked up with the same tears flowing from his eyes and he embraced me in a bear hug, shushing me and telling me everything was going to be alright. "We'll find him I promise." My eyes drifted to the floor and I found a note on the ground, "Dea-" "Hey I said its okay we'll find him." I pulled away and kneeled to the ground; I grabbed the note and it read:

_I have him. Be with me Dean and I'll let him go._

"Dean what's going on?" He pulled the note out and slammed his fist onto the table, "Dammit!" I yelped at his sudden anger and he reached out to me with a soft expression but I flinched away. "The Darkness, me and Sam let it out when we got rid of the Mark and now she has Sam." "The Darkness?" He nodded, "God's sister." "But can't we just get God to get rid of her?" Dean let out a dry, sarcastic chuckle, "If only it were that easy!" I raised an eyebrow at him asking for an explanation. He sighed and looked at the ceiling, "No one knows where he is."

"Castiel." With a flap of wings, I was greeted by a deep voice, "Y/N, you called." I turned to face him, "Sam's missing Cas, _I need your help_."

The next morning I women up in Deans arm who seemed to be clinging onto me for dear life. I turned to face him and smiled gently; he looked so peaceful and calm unlike last night when he was a total train wreck. He didn't know that I called Cas for help last night, he refused to involve him saying that Sammy was his responsibility but I believed we had no other choice. God had to be somewhere. I had spent all night praying, hoping he'd hear me but all I cared about right now was Dean. I pressed feather light kisses across his face, eager to wake him up to start our search for Sam. He just groaned and pulled me flush against his chest when I felt it. I blushed a deep red as I felt something hard pressed into my lower abdomen. I moved a little which caused a deep grunt leave his mouth and something weird happened. It was like a wave of heat hit me and it began to get warm down there. I tried to shift from his arms and I whispered his name, desperately trying to wake him now. He scrunched his nose as I began to poke him and his eyes shot open. He pushed himself away from me, causing him to fall off the bed and making me laugh so hard tears formed in my eyes. He blushed and headed to the bathroom starting a shower; I wondered if he was taking care of his 'problem'. I began to fantasize about him; his luscious tan skin sprinkled his beads of water  as he gently stroked his leaking dick. I shook those thoughts; where did they even come from? I pushed myself off and headed to my apartment; no funny business, we need to find Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okayyy so thank you Sidney for the chapters idea you're awesome!! Also TO ALL THE WRITERA OUT THERE FAN FICTION WRITERS APPRECIATION DAY!!! YOURE AMAZING THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO!


	21. DEAN

* * *

* * *

**READER'S POV**

**_Dean. Dean. Dean. Sam. Sam. God where was Sam? Cas? Oh Cas please find God!_ **

Dean began to slowly fall off track, he was slowly getting lost. Dean had barley talked to me since Friday morning and now it was next week on a Monday and I missed him dearly. James, pft. People began to notice him, he quickly became cool and now he doesn't even look at me. I was all alone. Sam would always pick me up when I felt like this and now he's gone. No matter how much research we did, it would all lead to a dead end. Dean was slowly drinking again but it wasn't as bad as last time. Last time it was 8-10 beers a day, now maybe 2-3. Dean knew Sammy wouldn't like him drinking; Dean knew it'd make me upset. Meg, Cas' wife had been subing for him lately since he was quote on quote 'on family business'. The world was still spinning for others but honestly mine had stopped and it wasn't going back into orbit soon.  
Wednesday night, movie night. Being locked into a house pretty much made me very uncultured in films or music. Dean and Sam would rotate weeks choosing movies.

Today was Sam's week. I went to work right after school and after went to pick up snacks. I unlock the Winchester's front door and find Dean on the floor, bottles of beer around him. I kneeled next to him and place his face in my hands. His eyes are dead and his face has no expression. I begin to get teary eyed when I heard his cracked, broken voice leave his lips, "I can't find him Y/N. I never will." I sniffle and dab at my eyes, "Dean don't say that. Don't give up babe. We'll find him! Please keep going?" He just shakes his head no. I grab his hands and pull him up; he looks at me confused but I lead him to his room. I make him sit on the edge of the bed and I pull out all the photo albums hidden under the bed. I flip through all the pictures and with teary filled eyes I look at Dean, "Are you giving up all this? All the love he's given you, everything? You're just gonna let it all go?" He grabbed the sides of his head and took a deep breath, "I don't know what to do anymore! I don't know where to look!" it did feel as though we had searched everywhere for him. There were no odd cases. Nothing, there was nothing. "Dean maybe you should I don't know call Amara? Like the way you call Cas you know? Tell her you wanna meet. Make a deal with her."

***

The plan was Dean would talk to Amara. It was a shitty plan but it was all we had. We needed Sam back, life wasn't the same.

 **DEAN'S POV  
** "Amara, Amara? Its me Dean! I wanna talk!" I shouted into the cold winter air. I looked at Y/N giving her one last smile and then I was in an abandoned warehouse. Sam was chained up and there was dry blood on him, he was unconscious and breathing heavy. "SAM? SAMMY!" I ran to him and slapped him around, "Come on babe! Wake up Sam! Sam please, I love you! I'm here Sam!" He groaned and rolled his head back, slowly opening his eyes, "Dean?" I grabbed his face and placed a kiss to his nose, "Buddy its me!" His bloodshot eyes snapped open, "DEAN LOOK OUT!" I turned and found Rowena and Amara before I was thrown to the side. I grunted in pain and looked up to find Y/N with her hands tied up and mouth covered, crying, "LET HER GO!" Rowena laughed, "Oh this wee little thing? Why should it matter what we do with her Dean? Isn't she just a student?" I looked at Sam who was desperately pulling at his restraints and I looked at Amara, "Please Amara take me instead let them go." She tilted her head and raised her eyebrow, "And why should I do that?" I swallowed deeply, "Because I love them and if you have ever loved someone you know you'd do anything for them." Amara looked at Y/N,grabbed her face and let out a dry laugh, "Love? Ha!" She grabbed Y/N's face within her hands and removed the rope around her mouth. She opened her mouth and a white blue light began to leave her mouth, it was her soul. "AMARA NO!"

Then there was a crash of lighting and Amara pulled away. She looked at the entrance of the warehouse and I smiled, "CAS!" And Chuck? He snapped his fingers and Amara was restrained and thrown to the wall. She growled out, "Hello Brother. I've been waiting for you." 

**READER'S POV**

The bearded man snapped his fingers again and me and Sam were released from our confinement. I turned around and punched the redhead in the face, "DEAN?" I ran to him and Sam, "Sammy?" He looked up at me and smiled, embracing me into a bear hug, "Oh Sam I've missed you." He grabbed my face and kissed me, "I love you." Cas came running up to us, "Welcome back Sam. I'm glad you are back but right now is not the time for public affection, we must leave NOW!" Sam wrapped his arm around me for support and we looked at Dean, "Dean what're you doing?!" He looked at both of us, "Take care of each other." "DEAN!" And with that we were zapped away from Dean. I fell to the floor with Sam and I cried out into the air, "DEAN!!!"

* * *

 

 


	22. Still Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey whoa hey! Y'all still with me? School is terrible! You can reach me on tumblr at crazynothingyo, twitter:puddingcastiel and my email is twentyonelex@gmail.com! I love you all so much! I read all your comments so pleases keep leaving your opinion! Critic is appreciated!

**READER'S POV**

As soon as I hit the floor I heard the flap of wings and saw a bloodied Dean in Cas' arms. Sam, even though terribly injured, rushed over to Dean and grabbed him to take him to the bathroom. Sobs seemed to be the only thing coming out of my mouth as I followed Sam and Dean. I looked over at Cas who was just standing there staring at his blood covered hands, "I'm sorry Y/N. He told me to take you and Sam first." I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my face into his trench coat," Thank you Cas for everything." I let him go and headed to the bathroom to see if there were alright. Sam had turned on the water for a bath and was stripping Dean of his clothes. I finally got a solid good look at them; Dean's eye was puffy and swollen, there was a gash across his eyebrow dripping blood and his nose looked broken. Sam's shirt was tore open and there were gashes across his chest and arms and I had to look away; there were so badly injured. Sam had placed Dean in the bathtub with his shirt and boxers still on, hoping it'd ease his soreness and help clean his wounds. Sam kneeled next to a semi conscious Dean and held his hand while quietly sobbing. I slowly made my way to him and squatted next to him, my voice was shaky, "Sam..?" He turned to me with red eyes and fell into my arms, "Sam oh Sam.." I whispered into his hair and breathed in his scent, "God I've missed you.." He was sobbing. Usually it was the other way around, I was the one falling apart while Sam was trying to pick me back up. I had to be tough for them. For him.

I had let Sam cry for a little and sat him on the toilet seat so I could clean him up. I had cleaned the wounds and had asked Cas to heal both of them. He was low on energy since he had used it all on transporting us. He healed them leaving scars and finally went home to Meg. That night I had never felt more loved as I held those two men in my arms and I held them tight afraid of letting go.

 

The next week, posters of many colors began to hang  up around school all reading the same thing WINTER FORMAL. It was the middle of February and we were barley having a winter formal, they should've just called it like the valentines dance or something. Of course I ignored all of them, no one was going to ask me. Plus Sam and Dean couldn't take me and I didn't want to risk a complete remake of 'Carrie'. That night Sam asked me, "So winter formal? You excited?" I sighed and nodded my head no, "What's the point you guys can't take me?" Dean looked up from his mountain of papers, "Come on babe you're a junior! You should be living your life!" I chuckled a bit, "Uhhh Dean I don't think you've noticed but I am not your average girl." He got up and kissed my temple, "And that's why I love you." I didn't know if I was the only one to remember but tomorrow would be the 4 month anniversary of me, Sam and Dean being together. I had been saving my money on buying them gifts and I had been mentally preparing myself for giving the most precious thing I had to them. I was ready, I wanted it to be with them and only them. Even if we don't stay together. These men were the ones to show me love. And fuck I feel hard for them.

**SAM'S POV**

That night when Y/n left, me and Dean starting preparing. It was a big day tomorrow, our 4 month anniversary with Y/N. I thought finally being with Dean was the greatest thing ever and then we meet Y/N, this broken yet powerful girl. She came crashing into our lives and made them so much better. Even we didn't stay together, I'd always love her. Just like after all these years I loved Jess. Just like how I knew id be with Dean for the rest of my life, well I didnt really have a choice but still I was still falling for her. I always am, everyday. I was so in love and I just couldn't stop falling. Everyday when she laughs and smiles, i fall. When she cries and picks herself back up, I fall. Every time I see her I've fallen so far theres no way I'm coming back. I cried as I wrote all this down into a letter for her. Tomorrow with her permission I wanted tp show her how much she means to us, I hope she lets me. Just Chuck, thank you for her.


	23. 10/1/16: I'm Sorry

I'm sitting on my bed as I try to type this in. I'm sobbing so hard, I can't control it. I want to give up. I've been so busy that being here alone in the dark made me realize how sad I've been. My grades are amazing right now;I've never had anything as good as right now. Still, I have 3 friends yet they hardly talk to me. I'm judged constantly at school. The way I dress, the way I look, the way I am. My sexuality, my beliefs,fuck even the music I listen too, just because I'm different I'm not good enough for them. I'm alone. No ones here. I'm so close to cutting myself again. Its getting cold here; that means it'd be easier to hide. You probably don't care at all. Who cares right? I'm just another statistic right? My parents don't need to spend more money on a worthless thing like me. My parents only want me to go to college so that I make money and buy them things. I have no one to talk too in times like these. Please I'm sorry... I'm just fed up. I hate myself... I've even stopped eating.. I eat only once a day, If my mom makes dinner. My stomachs grumbling right now. Maybe if Iost weight and actually wore make-up and tried to be cool, people would like me! I want this to be over already. I hate myself! I can't even update this story because of writers block. I've let every one down. I'm so fucking sorry.... I love you guys...


	24. 10/2/16- Thank You

I just wanted to thank you all. I'm sorry for my breakdown last night... I needed to rant.. I don't have a phone so I can't talk to someone in times like these. I use a gaming device I own for this website, thats the reason I can go on here. I just you guys are all amazing humans and that's why I love this family so much, you guys got my back and I've got yours! I love each and every one of you dearly.. I haven't done any harm to myself, so don't worry.. Just thank you guys for all your lovely words and the time you spent writing to me. I promise to try my best and to #AlwaysKeepFighting. You guys are my world, remember that! Thanks to you I am something! And you reading this, you are an amazing human, there's only one you and I'm grateful for you. You are beautiful and amazing and you make my day brighter. I love you so much, if you need me don't hesitate message me on tumblr: crazynothingyo, twitter: puddingcastiel or email me at twentyonelex@gmail.com  
Thank you, i love you!

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I should continue this!


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